I have loved the Christmas season for as long as I can remember. I don’t think it was because my parents made it extra special or because I got gifts, or because it brought family together, although those were all nice by-products. I think it was, and still is, because of the joy that seems to be caught up in the air during the whole Christmas season. The twinkling lights, the carols, the Christmas trees and candles, the bustling stores and the smell of baking. There is something magical about it all. As a kid, it seemed like nothing bad could ever happen at Christmas. Everything seemed to pause between December 24th and January 1st.
As an adult, I know that’s not really true. I know the world slows down, but nothing really stops. People still pass away, families still grieve, loved ones still get new diagnoses, and families still break. Sadness and grief continue. How do we balance grief and joy in the holiday season?

As I re-read the Christmas story each year, I am reminded how full of hope it is. At the same time, it is also a story of grief. I think about God the Father sending down His Son to be born as a baby in the world, apart from Him. It says in Galatians 4:4 "But when the fullness of time had come, God sent down His Son, born of a woman, born under the law…". There had to be grief in that, in the separation and in knowing that it would end in His death. Our Father knows what grief looks like, what it feels like. How can we walk through this season of joy, while we also hold grief in our hearts?

First, you can know that God welcomes your prayers of grief. (Psalm 64:2-3; 102:17). He has felt grief; He has walked that path you walk. You can come to Him in your grief this holiday season and know that He will draw near to you (Psalm 34:18) and He will bring you peace. (Isaiah 26:3)

Second, surround yourself with community. Romans 12:15 says “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Allow your friends, your family, and your church community to mourn with you. Allow them to comfort you and let them into your grief. But also, don’t be afraid to join in their joy… joy is contagious.

Third, remember that this is not our home. If finding joy in your grief feels impossible, allow yourself to know that a better place is coming. Revelation 21:4 says "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain… “ The joy of Christmas is not just remembering that Jesus was born, it’s remembering that He is coming back for us too.